A Martian Sends a Postcard Home - Craig Raine

Caxtons are mechanical birds with many wings
and some are treasured for their markings –

they cause the eyes to melt
or the body to shriek without pain.

I have never seen one fly, but
sometimes they perch on the hand.

Mist is when the sky is tired of flight
and rests its soft machine on ground:

then the world is dim and bookish
like engravings under tissue paper.

Rain is when the earth is television.
It has the property of making colours darker.

Model T is a room with the lock inside –
a key is turned to free the world

for movement, so quick there is a film
to watch for anything missed.

But time is tied to the wrist
or kept in a box, ticking with impatience.

In homes, a haunted apparatus sleeps,
that snores when you pick it up.

If the ghost cries, they carry it
to their lips and soothe it to sleep

with sounds. And yet, they wake it up
deliberately, by tickling with a finger.

Only the young are allowed to suffer
openly. Adults go to a punishment room

with water but nothing to eat.
They lock the door and suffer the noises

alone. No one is exempt
and everyone’s pain has a different smell.

At night, when all the colours die,
they hide in pairs

and read about themselves –
in colour, with their eyelids shut.

--------------
 (unclear what a caxton is... some kind of printing thing)

regardless...

Love this.

2da semana

Whenever I go someplace new, the second week is always  better.  I'm still not always entirely comfortable and my Spanish isn't that great, but things are getting better.  I decided I'll do my last week in Sosua, because then I can have the beach right outside my apartment.

It's important for me to have women friends around me because I just don't trust Latino men (which I partly blame on Romeo "King of the Douches" Santos)



Case in point:

Pretty typical of his videos.  He just wants your girlfriend and he can have whatever he wants because he is the KING (of douches.)

Also this was the first song that played in my dance classes this week hahahaha.



Soooooo here you can see the "beach" that graces my front door.

 There's a street in the colonial zone with a lot of this art. 

Good ways to celebrate Easter weekend... Have a festival where people can swim in blow-up pools and make a Jesus out of sand!  Also have a rock concert for Jesus in the night.  Seriously I've never seen a religious rock concert outside of youth group activities.  It was interesting.

I know that she knows

Got it on repeat... mixed with a lot of Kate Nash.

Good quality:  To be able to enjoy solitude.

Wish I had more of that quality.

systemas feos

"The incident in Oklahoma [in which members of the Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity were caught on tape uttering racist chants], that is a real argument for getting rid of the system altogether, in my opinion, even having been through a fraternity. Because when you break it down, it really is about creating cliques and clubs and being exclusionary. Fraternities were started as academic societies that were supposed to have a philanthropic arm to them."

—comedian and movie star Will Ferrell


I never thought I would identify so strongly with Will Ferrell, but I feel him so hard on this subject.

The worst decision I made in college was joining a sorority.

The best decision I made was quitting it.


Sororities and Fraternities (whatever else they may do or good or bad) create an in-group, which in turn creates an out-group at the same time.  When I was in a sorority I spent most of my time with my "sisters".  I had very few friends outside of the Greek system at NDSU.

We had a bunch of chants about how awesome we were... and some songs about how sh*tty the other sororities  were.

I hate things that create an us-them mentality.  Hate them hate them hate them.  I hate Americans who don't like foreigners.  Also I hated being in the cage that Greek Life is... all your friends are rich white people. ick.  Also I didn't have enough money for that nonsense.

Something I don't hate:  Duolingo.  It's really really really helpful for learning languages. Y'all should try it.  Duolingo.com

Que pasa

It's Wednesday night... I've been here in Santo Domingo since Sunday afternoon.


During this time I:

Rode a guagua twice a day to get to my school.  This is the public transportation.  It's about 20 cents for one ride.

These pictures are from the internet because I didn't want people to see me taking pictures of a guagua like an IDIOT TOURIST...

....which I am anyways, because the first time I rode one of these by myself, I lost my wallet which had my id and my credit cards.  Good thing I didn't lose my passport.  I rode a bigger one that time though, and it was super packed because it was rush hour I think.   I feel so stupid though.

I thought there would be some seriously obnoxious catcalling but it's basically just "Que lindo." Which means "how beautiful". 

In Fargo it's usually "show me your tits" or something similar so this is actually an improvement.   Although it does happen more frequently here, it seems less aggressive.

Maybe they are saying nasty things too but I just can't understand them yet hahahah.

The problem is I really LIKE to talk to strangers, but I can't because I don't want to encourage creepy dudes.   I try to only talk to the non-creepy people, who don't hit on me, but it's a fine line from "how are you" to "do you have a boyfriend?" (sí, tengo un buen novio) to "where do you live?"  I can  handle them if they're my age, but much older and I usually don't talk to them. Except old people. I love talking to old people here.

So I'm taking Spanish classes in the morning and dance classes in the afternoon.  My dance teacher:

Yes he's super freaking old.  And a super freaking good dancer... and I'm pretty sure he knows I can't speak Spanish but he insists on giving huge complicated explanations of things and I just nod and say

"sí, sí, sí". Next week I have group lessons so I will certainly be learning slower.

There is an ocean here, but no beach.  DANGIT. I should really research things better.

The grandchildren of my host mom: (they live here too)

 hamming it up for the camera.

 I taught this kid to beatbox. Well... I can't really beatbox, so he's probably better than me already.

Arrival

I went to bed at 7 PM, which was great at the time, given how incredibly tired from 21 hours of travel I was (SERIOUSLY Fargo needs a direct flight to New York, that would be amazing).

So now it's 3 AM and I feel well rested.  

ANYWAYS. I am officially in the Caribbean, Southside of the Dominican Republic (Santo Domingo).  Had a nice conversation with my taxi driver in stunted Spanish, with a lot of over-exaggerated facial expressions and gestures.  My Spanish classes start tomorrow at ICC Language Institute. 

I am staying about 30 seconds away from the ocean, with a host family consisting of Doña Christina, her daughter, and 3 grandkids.

Doña Christina speaks no English, and she's the one I've been communicating with mostly.  I don't speak Spanish very well, but usually I can get my point across.  I really really like her, despite the language barrier... Can't wait till we can actually talk fluidly.  I told her I'd make her pizza, but dangit, I didn't bring any pizza spice :( . Could be difficult.  I think after these four weeks are done, I will be at level two or three.  I'm about halfway through level one, WHICH MEANS.

I can once in a while get past tense right, or I can say that I am going to do something.  But other than that I have to speak almost completely in present tense.

I don't have house keys yet, and I THINK she said I will have them tomorrow. Not too sure about that.

If I walk around I can hear Bachata music freaking everywhere and I love that.

There aren't really buses here.  According to this website, basically what I have to do is flag down a mini-van called a Guagua.   I am scared to do that, because my Spanish is so so so so poor right now.

It would take about a half hour to walk to my language school.  But I'm awake anyways, so I could conceivably go, and watch the sunrise from the beach (if I don't get hit by a car.)  But then I still need to get back at the end of the day.  Hmm.  I guess I'll wait till the Doña wakes up, and ask her.  I need keys ASAP.  Necesito los llaves.

I'm not doing too badly though, the other girl I rode with in the taxi who is also going to this school only knows "Hola."  I hope she makes it tomorrow.

 First view of the Caribbean!

Hmmm not my best photograph.  View directly outside of my house.

2015's Most Readable, or: Layover Tips

What to do when you have four hours to kill in an  airport?

I will tell you.


Go to the bookstore, buy a book from an author you ALWAYS enjoy NO MATTER WHAT.

In my case that's usually Philip K. Dick (or at least in this case it was).

Then spend twenty minutes browsing the other shelves, writing down or photographing the titles you wish you could buy.


Wait about a month.


Buy them on amazon, used.

Or go to the library.


Ta daaaaa!

These are the ones I want:

I want to read this so hardcore.

A Kim Jong-Il Production - Paul Fischer

 Always a mind bender.  Murakami

 hmmmm Super Freakonomics and Proust..... I don't need either of them, but I feel like I should... you know? No? Oh. Okay.

 I love this kind of thing.

I want to know Physics. So I can control people with my mind. (That's how that works right?)

 Well... I had the first Dragon Tattoo book... didn't finish it. But now I feel like I could take on the series.

hmemaslgkj(do we really need titles all the time?)

In two days I'll be in the Dominican Republic.   I'll be studying at Instituto Intercultural del Caribe (IIC) in Santo Domingo.  Spanish in the mornings and dance class in the afternoon.

YES.

Going somewhere completely solo is a bit scary.



(But not that much).

Arjun looks like such a tool I swear... but I love his songs.

Are you Going to SING??!??

Vennu Mallesh - It's My Life

Vegas

Good hostels have a shelf with free food.

No exceptions.

If you're going to Vegas, I recommend Hostel Cat.  Although I haven't tried the other hostels, this one has a kitchen and a  shelf with free food so what more do you need?

 As well as a communal courtyard.

 Am I in India or Vegas?

Or New York City??

Or VENICE???

Seriously I can't believe these poor stupid tourists who pay these guys to paddle them around a swimming pool HAHHAHAHAHAHA.

Also, don't go to Vegas if your friend (or you) is under 21 and has a fake id.  No dancing for you.  They will take it away.

We went to a Penn and Teller show, Cirque du Soleil, AND.....

50 Shades! (the parody musical) which was freaking HILARIOUS and probably the best thing you can do, and cheaper than the other two shows.  WATCH THIS SHOW.

On  an unrelated note, I'm trying to learn this song:

Terry Pratchett

One of my favorite favorite authors just died... Terry Pratchett.  Read his Bromeliad trilogy when I was a kid, many multiples of times.  He just opened up the world.

"There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!"

- from The Truth

The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they’ve found it.

 – from Monstrous Regiment

galaxies scattered around their feet

there are so many things I can't wait to introduce to my eventual-kid(s).  Rumi.  Bollywood dancing.  Bachata.  BOOKS!  Spring after winter.... Snow! Sledding! Swimming!  I can't imagine being that young... where everything is new.


The Music We Are

Did you hear that winter is over?
The basil and carnation cannot control their laughter.

The nightingale, back from his wandering,
has been made singing master over all the birds.
The trees reach out their congratulations.

The soul goes dancing through the king's doorway.
Anemones blush because they have seen the rose naked.

Spring, the only fair judge, walks in the courtroom,
and several December thieves steal away.

Last year's miracles will soon be forgotten.
New creatures whirl in from nonexistence,
galaxies scattered around their feet.

Have you met them?
Do you hear the bud of Jesus crooning in the cradle?

A single narcissus flower has been appointed
Inspector of Kingdoms.  A feast is set.
Listen. The wind is pouring wine.

Love used to hide inside images. No more.
The orchard hangs out its lanterns.

The dead come stumbling by in shrouds.
 Nothing can stay bound or be imprisoned.

You say, End this poem here, and wait for what is next.
I will.  Poems are rough notations for the music we are.

Rumi

Homemade Pizza

So I'm not much of a cook, but I cook homemade pizza almost every weekend, and I thought I'd share my recipe.  Every time I make it, it's a little different, I just layer whatever vegetables I have on hand... but this is my most recent concoction.  You can also use meat, although I haven't experimented with that.  I get my pizza spice from Tochi, here in Fargo.

 So!
1st layer - either premade pizza crust, or rolled out dough that has been prebaked.
2nd layer- pizza sauce (or any type of tomato sauce).  You can also blend it with salsa, or cream cheese,  and some pizza spice.
3rd layer  - eggplant, thinly sliced (think pepperoni type-slices.)
4th layer  - zucchini, thinly sliced again (as per the above picture).
5th layer - pizza spice and garlic salt (sprinkle it on liberally, I use a lot, I love pizza spice)
6th layer - shredded cheese
7th layer - eggplant! (I love eggplant, the more layers, the better)
8th layer - zucchini again
9th layer - mushrooms (check with your guests, you might need to do a portion of mushroom-free pizza) drizzle some olive oil over the mushrooms as well.
10th layer - diced green pepper
11th layer - pineapple
12th layer - cheese again
13th layer - whatever leftover vegetables you have, minced up.
14th layer - pizza spice, a  bit more cheese if you want, and a good drizzle of olive oil.

Usually the dough will have instructions, but you'll want to bake the pizza for longer than stated, since there are SO MANY layers.  You can use whatever vegetables you want!  I like olives on it too, but I forgot them this time.   This recipe fed five people, with about a third of the pizza left over for lunch the next day.

Enjoy!

Was on some random website, and the powers that be decided I need to be advertised to in the form of Indian bridal makeup artists...


Hmmm.


I  grow increasingly paranoid that my iphone listens to all my conversations.

2015's Most Romantic

This song....


Oh. My.

(You didn't think I was serious did you?)

heaping bowl of thought processes.

This week has been filled with bad things.

I have to take a step back and realize:  I'm still in the same place I was yesterday, driving home from work, reading in bed, sampling my roommate's cooking..

Nothing is fundamentally different.  Except I know things I didn't.

How can I put my brain into the carefree state it used to be in?

I don't want to get dependent on the future.  I want to depend on my present-day self to be happy.

Deep down I do believe people are only happy based on meaningful contact with those around them.  It's hard for me to fathom someone that can perpetuate contentment or joy in their own brain, away from anyone else.   (But then again, didn't books used to do that for me?  Why don't they satisfy me now?)

I am happy when I'm being productive.. Maybe I'm just not busy enough?   I was enjoying myself today at work for instance, until I received a very lucrative email which communicated to me that I may have lost 800+ dollars.


If you want to sell a couple things, please NEVER use ebay.  You can't get your money for 90 days, or until you sell 25 items worth at least $250 all together. 

I just wanted to sell my camera.


BASICALLY.  If it weren't for money, I don't think I'd ever be unhappy.

also long distance relationships could possibly put you in the hospital.  Think about it. 


In a flash of clarity I almost convince myself it's (i.e. everything is) because of the weather, just like that doctor once tried to tell me but I immediately reject the idea (not as fast as I did then,  but still).

There's too much chaos for me to be comfortable.  Too much unknown but vaguely thunder-cloud looking, foreboding/that-kinda-gray darkness.

I can hear the ominous music.


Like I'm juggling sharp things and wouldn't you know it

GRAVITY kicks in so hard I'm seeing through a red curtain.

slasher-style.

________________________________

I couldn't really "BASICALLY" this.  Sometimes all-caps are not enough to neaten a churning brain.

I was stress-eating at work today.  It's been a long time since I've done that.  I lost count of everything I shoved into my fat face.


I have not chosen the easy way out. 


Something is drawing together, muscles are stretching, some spring is coiling up....


 Future: please be kind to me.

Delhi + Agra

Alright so. Delhi.

It's been about a month since I got back, so this is long overdue.

There are some very rich and opulent areas of Delhi.  I didn't take pictures of those places, because a mall is a mall is a mall right?  We have those in America too.  Here are the things that you might be interested in seeing.

This picture is quite misleading.  Usually the people that go to Dilli Haat (market) are mostly tourists, so this is the place where everything is expensive for the white people.  It's got nice stuff though.

 I love saris.  I just wanted to take pictures of every woman in traditional dress, love the clothing in India so much.  (Although a lot of western wear as compared to other regions.)

 Me, in the preliminaries of learning Hindi script.  Took me less than a week I'm proud to say.

 A Muslim tomb (wish I could remember which one).

 Most accurate picture I took.  One word to use for Delhi:  crowded.  That's it.  Ayya can't remember which market this was.  I'll edit this when I find out.

 Boutique.

 India Gate.  People go here to walk around and picnic.  Not really my thing, but then again neither was the Eiffel Tower so there you go.

 Time to Baaaaargaiiiiiiin.

 Quitab Minar ruins!  Islamic architecture, very intricate carvings.

 On our way to Agra, to see the Taj Mahal.  The fog was eerie. 

I believe this last picture is from the Red Fort, but don't quote me on that.

you got that dangerous love

It blows my mind when I manage to get a good night of dancing in downtown Fargo.  Went hard in the O.B., at the Pickled Parrot, AND got one dollar margaritas in Vinyl Taco (That's every Friday till midnight I believe).  Also went out with my brother which NEVER happens anymore. 

So's you know, I'm definitely gonna judge you if you go to the dance floor and just stand there.

And I know you're just staring at me because you're too boring to get out there and lose your mind.  BORING.

ODESZA - Say My Name (feat. Zyra) - Lyric Video

La la la love

Stay Shook.

Recently finished reading "Saints and Madmen" by Russell Shorto.

Basically asks the question, why is something considered a mystical spiritual experience in some places.... and a psychotic episode in America / the Western world ? (and how do we change that?)

Very very interesting.  Apparently there was a revolution to look at psychiatry through a more spiritual lens at one time, but I gotta tell you when I was in the hospital that was CERTAINLY not the case. 

Also the book delves into the topic of psychedelic drugs as well.

Always find myself thinking of Rumi, when it comes to madness as a religious experience.  Here is one for you.


Shreds of Steam

 Light again, and the one who brings light.
Change the way you live.

From the ocean-vat, wine-fire in each cup.
Two or three of the long-dead wake up.
Two or three drunks become lion hunters.

Sunlight washes a dark face.
The flower of what is true opens in the face.
Meadow grass and garden ground grow damp again.
A strong light like fingers massages our heads.
No dividing these fingers from those.

Draw back the lockbolt.
One level flows into another.
Heat seeps into everything.
The passionate pots boil.
Clothing tears inot the air.
Poets fume shreds of steam,
never so happy as out in the light.

vday

Sometimes.

Just don't know if I can do it.

laser

I want to get to that place
that sweetspot where I'm
drunk on music

halfway between tipsy and
passing out

trailing light from

crushed up glass
as the disco-balled
past splinters
from the lightshine

remember
awash in that ocean of
sound

bottomless abyss of
nerves and
joy.

Sammy J & Randy

So I showed this to my friends, and they just kinda stared blankly.   Originally my brother showed it to me and we laughed like hyenas soooooo..... Does anyone else have this sense of humor?  I think this thing is hilarious but dang maybe I just have an odd eye for funny.

CAN WE JUST

(love this song SO MUCH AUGH)

Blue

I was helping this EXTREMELY sassy old lady at work.  Our conversation:


Me:  "I think I'll dye my hair blue here soon."

Her: "WHAT.  That is a VERY BAD idea.  Why would you want to do that?"

Me:  "No it will be awesome!  It's gonna be like a work of art... they'll put me in a museum or something."

Her: "Yeah they'll put you in a museum.  A museum for monkeys."

Me:  "There are no monkeys in the museum."

Her:  "Well.  There'll be one ."


Meaning me.  Hahahhahah I had to laugh.  This lady really makes a lot of my coworkers angry (and also me, on occasion, though not since I've gotten back).  It's funny how in a sitcom situation she would be the quirky old cute lady who has a sharp tongue and wit.  In reality, she brings people to tears.  For every funny little conversation like that, are a few hundred instances of please-less orders, eye-rolls, and sarcastic yet oddly not-funny comments.  But I do get a couple gems from her. So that's that.

huh.

I'm actually getting mildly worried about my funds.

I'm only working 4 days a week this month.

Dropped 450 on a car repair charge.

Dropped 500 on roundtrip tickets to the Dominican Republic (plus will soon have to pay 2,000+ for my four week spanish course there).

Dropped 420 on  a Vegas trip (all inclusive accommodation and flight though).



Whut.


I need to hardcore work.  All summer.


Ayyyyyaaaa I feel really bad about all this money.  But doing a four-week spanish course was one of my goals for 2015.  Once that's done, the only other thing I want to do is the El Camino Pilgrimage in Spain.  And that can wait if need be.

Can't remember if I've posted this song before. If so, apologies.

phoenix

There is a kind of humility only found in someone who has crashed and burned.

I'm talking really, really, crashed and burned, not a 2-day breakdown, but months/years of bottom-of-the-abyss dwelling. 

Haven't seen it too often, but I really really value that quality (maybe because I see it in myself).  Is it sort of a paradox to acknowledge your own humility? It's definitely something I hope I can keep up/improve upon.  Pride is nasty.

In other news, I'll be heading on over to the Sanford Mental Health Unit here in Fargo, to see if I can get a copy of my paperwork / record of my own personal crash-and-burn.  Should be interesting.

Have a song:

And Another:

Home

Something important about travel:

If you are staying with someone for a long time (i.e. more than 5 days)  don't expect them to have your fun for you.

YOU have to research things that will be fun, and make sure you have a plan in place to execute them.

Sometimes your host will take it upon themselves to entertain you day in day out, but I have found that this is rarely the case.

Find a class for something you are interested in.  When I got bored and cooped up in Delhi, I researched language schools, and found a well-rated school to study Hindi at (Zabaan in Kailash Colony if you wanted to know).  If that wouldn't have occupied my time I would have found dance classes, cooking classes, literally ANYTHING that would have kept me busy and enabled me to meet people.  Group classes are the best.

I did salsa classes all over Europe, since that's something that I'm really into, and now I'm planning to go somewhere in South/Central America to learn Spanish this spring.  (Tryin' for Cuba, but my parents aren't so happy with that considering it's technically illegal for me to go there.)

Okay anyways:

I'm back in Fargo.  Woke up this morning feeling like complete crap.  Long distance relationships are so hard (at least this one is).  Won't be able to see him again for a year at least.  Ayya.  Anyways I got rid of a huge sack of clothes, and three small bags of books... hope to get rid of more stuff, lets see.


Here's a song for you:  Kickstarts by Example.