Jailbait Queen

when you smile and she doesn't return it
give her room and don't disturb it
if it makes it hurt less to curse and fight
go ahead and hate the world girl you earned the right

gah I love Atmosphere

stars that clear have been dead for years but the idea just lives on

I've been sleeping so strange at night

side effects they don't advertise

I've been sleeping so strange

with a head full of pesticide

-Bright Eyes

Feast your eyes on the very first painting I have ever done. Ever.  It makes me ridiculously happy. and it didn't take a whole lot of talent so that's good because that kinda thing is limited...

So I was reading old journal entries since I have them all over my desktop.  I clicked on September.  Goodness I was an obsessive person.  I wrote like 3 pages on "that dude who broke into my house" also known as "the guy I was obsessed with for exactly one week" and let me tell you, the things I wrote are hilarious.  At least to me anyways.  Take this little gem....

"I can't believe the turn my life has taken and I absolutely love it. So. Much. My heart and stomach are conspiring against me in anticipation of your phone call in ways I didn't know they could. Knots, butterflies, the works. I wouldn't be surprised to find gears or an ocean in there either. When I see you I light up. I wanna be pursued. And if I'm not mistaken, that is exactly what is happening here.." 

or how about this

"And stupid or not, the world hasn't been the same since I met him. I finally found someone. Whether I'm capable of keeping him or not remains to be seen."

HAHAHAHAH I write like a thirteen year old girl.  Less than a week later:

"I come out of my room, and I'm just like, “why are you in here, HOW DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE??” and he's like, well I just opened the door, and came in, how else? And I started freaking out. I ran downstairs and into the bathroom, turned on the fan and started brushing my teeth"

I love the ending.  I don't know why I added in that I brushed my teeth.  I think what happened was I was in there for a long time and then I figured I may as well make the best of my time.  did I mention that all the doors were locked?  What a creepy person.  He was attractive though.

 

Survive another Winter

I think I've posted this before but that was sometime before I deleted my entire page SO!

Verse 1 (Prolyphic):

This is my soul on a postcard stamped with no address
I just hope it gets to where its got to go and beats the cold stress
Cuz those who can't take it go west coast, on the search for gold
Let see how far you get before your progress slows
And the California dream gets old and overrated
Its where mediocre artists go to settle for less as broke waiters
They travel in packs like chain smokers
With the hopes of being famous, but can't make it on their own
I seen their bandwagon pass me by, while I was dragging my boycott
Pulling my own weight in stride
It was my choice not to ask for a ride, cuz one at a time
I'd come across those who've fallen off and careers died
On the side of the road like no one noticed or thought twice
That you were covered in snow and frost bite
Oh, the irony when karma catches up, taste your own medicine
Means just see where you end up
Where the fuck are they now as time passed
They're miles back in piles and all I do is smile and laugh
Cuz once it hits November its just another winter
Don't think I won't remember who should get the middle finger
Cuz I've gone this far and I've counted these days
With my soul on this postcard and it found its way
Through the bullshit and politics, in and out of this
From the bottom up, I finished what I started, survived another winter.

Verse 2, first half (B Dolan):

Some heads go blind every time the sun sets
Feeling the chill of sudden death
They up and run for the West
While we survive these winters of disconnect
Thrive, whither, and die with the sun
surrender to death, then resurrect
with fire on our tongues
And thicker blood
Stubborn as the earth
Waiting for the blizzard to come
Its just a mystery to some
Who feel the cold tell their bones to lay down
Afraid to stay around
They're hopping planes trains and greyhounds
L.A. Bound
The days are shades of gray now
Stay in and pull the shades down
The rain will flood the gutters and slush will suck at our boots
Winter is the curse we shuffle through
Huddled in groups. Growing indestructible roots
And hold mics like they're frozen
I hope the plates don't shift and drop your fragile state into the
ocean
New England patriots!
Its in our nature to resist
That's what the fuck we're known for
Eyes forward til the cold war is over;
Survived another winter.

Verse 2, second half (Alias):

Survived Another Winter
by pinning myself to the frozen ground this time.
syncopated to the sound of falling snow with this rhyme
the constant sunshine of the west made me lose track
eyes toward where the sun rises, so I decided to move back
because I'd rather fill my lungs with chimney smoke
as opposed to California smog that always seemed to make me choke
yeah, yeah...the silence of falling snow, enough to make you deaf
give me overcast days and snow drifts
I wanna watch my breath float away into the sky
season change: two words that I need to live my life by
ask why Jack Frost is my friend again
then pretend that in a couple of months, I won't be climbing up these walls again
but I'll invite the cabin fever in with open arms
nothing else to do but sit and write and set alarms
snowed in, writing new raps, watching snow fall out the studio window
is how I survived another winter.

Verse 3 (Sage Francis):

When the look-alikes insisted that I go west
I didn't book a flight, I shook my right fist full of protest.
I slipped right into the snow vest. Respect the dress code.
We see our own breath when it gets cold. The heart rates get slow.
Every move is purposeful.
The crowd stands with their arms crossed, boss, don't take it personal.
It's gray skies, white lies and black ice.
When the day dies the night time's my afterlife.
I made my sacrifice. I'm not confined to this Island, drifter.
Time shifter. Get the troubles off your mind, sister.
Don't be sensitive. Slip inside a hide that's thicker.
Sure, hide your figure.
Survive a winter wonderland and understand that sometimes we shiver
to stay alive. We don't follow the signs of a quitter.
He's talking with his mouth full. Looking like his eyes were bigger
than his stomach, but fuck it,
because shuckin' and jivin' just does damage to the inside like liquor
inside your liver. Slap me with a parental advisory sticker.
You want constant sunshine? That's a side splitter.
Got no time for punchlines, that's why I'm bitter.
Frostbite sarcasm sealed, signed and delivered.
Don't cry or whimper.
Fight the tide with a counter-current. Never getting swept up by the river.
Keeping sober until it freezes over. Survive another winter.

flowers for my brain

It has come to my attention that 99.9 percent of the music on my ipod is more than 2 years old.  Crazy how I used to be SO obsessed with finding new music.  I used to download fifty songs a day .  The first thing I talked about with anyone I met was music.  I fell for guys based on what music they liked.  I'm not sure how I feel about that.  Something that was the most important thing in the world to me is now a footnote. odd.  In other news I feel better. 

best lyrics in the world

We're just whistling past the graveyard
Laughing in backseats and restaurants
Don't know ourselves well but so what
We know each other

Floating down from all my mixed up meditations
Trying to straighten out my spine
It's been folding in the moments that I need it
I'm obsessing over finish lines
Asked you why you're smiling every time you see me
Said I remind you of a joke
I think you might actually me on to something
There's no point in trying to take ourselves so seriously

We're swaying in subconscious subways so insane
But your thoughts still bring flowers for my brain
And I still pull my hands past your ribcage
Hoping my movements might find their place at your side
For as long as you'd like
And we will weave in and out of sanity unnoticed
Swirling in blissfully restless visions of all our bleary progress
Glowing in radiant madness
Certain of all we're become

Now we're sneaking out the backdoor of our American minds
Gonna leave a couple hundred years of bad tradition behind
Done with swimming in the sea of agitated animal doubt
Gonna make up out own meanings till the final blackout [x2]