VAGUE TO THE POINT OF COMPLETE GRAY

Sometimes swearing is necessary.  It's how I convey great anger or importance.  But I've always felt that I'm not allowed to swear on this blog, since people who have me on facebook (possibly family members) read it.


I don't like that. Feels like a trap.  Something holds me back from being sincere.  I care too much about what my family thinks of me.

Okay so maybe I just like to swear, regardless of any "great anger or importance".  

Also I feel like I can't talk about certain things that have happened in my past.

Sometimes the things I say become so vague it's almost pointless to say them at all.

Like now for instance.


It bothers me that I never write poetry anymore.  Been reading some of my old stuff, and I can barely recognize the woman that wrote it.

Gah who the hell am I anymore?


Something from April 2014:

regardless of the length of the chain, strength of
the fence

I had to see if your dog was a biter.

there were warning signs in
my second language:

Teeth Filed, Regrown
Daily

No Snarl Until Hungry

on pain as a teacher:
avoiding scars is
skipping class.

My hands outstretched, ready
for the gold-star bruises

of perfect attendance

---

I think I'm  in an apathetic state that discourages poetry.  Also the above poem is ... meh.  So I wasn't that good at poetry when I was writing. Maybe it's for the best.

Around Santo Domingo

Leaving tomorrow.  Wouldn't have missed this last weekend for anything.

Here's some odds and ends I haven't posted.

 El Conde in the rainy night.

my family :)

I'm like, No, not really..

So in love with the nightlife in Santo Domingo.

Perfect mix of reggaeton, edm, 80's jams and top hits.  Also, if I feel the need I can go find Salsa/Bachata/Merengue as well.


Everyone danced last night.  So. Much. Fun.

Until 4 AM.

Heard this song and went up to the closest dude singing along and made him tell me what it was.  Like I'ma be physically ill if I'm not able to  blast this song 30 times in a row when I wake up tomorrow.

Omi & Felix Jaehn - Cheerleader (Praia Del Sol and Renca Remix)

esta caballero

Pin Pun - Lapiz Conciente

THE CHORUS.
When I walk home.  Whoever is walking behind me.

Will always be able to tell when the bass kicks in.

DANNNG tonight, after all the dopamine from four hours of hardcore exercise, I was literally dancing my way home.  So happy.

 _________________________________________________________________________

What we speak
becomes the house
we live in.
Who will want
to sleep in your bed
if the roof leaks
right above it?

Fear is the
cheapest room
in the house,
I would like
to see you living
in better conditions.

There is only one reason
we have followed God
into this world:
to encourage laughter,
freedom,
dance and love ....

God and I are rushing
from every corner of
existence,
needing to say
we are yours.

The sun never says
to the earth,
even after all this time
“you owe me”.

I once asked a bird
how is it that you
fly in this gravity
of darkness?
she responded,
love lifts me.

I should not make
any promises right now
but I know if you pray
somewhere in this world
something good
will happen.


–Hafiz
 

mi amor

Soon begins my last week in Santo Domingo.

I want to stay, take my dancing to the next level...

They have a free dembow zembow (twerking essentials) lesson in the park (Plaza Guibia at 6:15ish) Monday-Friday, but I didn't realize that till 2+ weeks in.

MEHHHHH

Half of my conversations are like this:  Them: Why did you come here?  Me:  In my city, it's very cold, with no dancing.  So I leave whenever I have money.

(Only in Spanish)

Much of the cat-calling here is, "PSSSSST" PSSSST", as if they're trying to get your attention to tell you a secret.  Then if you ignore them they don't usually pursue any further conversation.  But today I decided to respond to someone with "PSSST" as well.  We had a short chat in morse code until I was out of hearing range.

We went to some beach, near Las Salinas.  We went to a salt mine, where they extract it from the ocean.  Huge piles of salt laying everywhere.  Also sand dunes. Also beach.

SO HOT.

 Virgin beach at the end, which means you can't swim there.

 self-explanatory

Salt mines/factory.

 The pools are different colors based on whether the salt is ready to come out.  Unclear on when that is, because as always our nanny explains things in Spanish and sometimes I don't catch it all.

MMMM. ocean.  With Prince Royce in the speakers.

Las Tres Ojos

Went to this National Park with my classmates.  It's quite near Santo Domingo.  Basically there are three lagoons of different colors, and some of them more or less underground.  You can take a little ride on a raft to get through one of the caves. 

Apparently it used to be a holy spot for rituals but now (surprise!) it's a tourist attraction woohoo.

te deseo oh oh oh

Are swiss people generally sort of standoffish / not really people persons, or did I just hit a rich vein of them here?

Hmm.  Holding off on that stereotype for now.


This song is now my theme song for the Dominican Republic.


Zion y Lennox Ft. Farruko Y Yandel - Pierdo La Cabeza

It's a style of music called dembow

 
Also heard this gem while at the beach, (Spanish, not Dominican, but oh well)

Nach scratch - Te Quiero

A Martian Sends a Postcard Home - Craig Raine

Caxtons are mechanical birds with many wings
and some are treasured for their markings –

they cause the eyes to melt
or the body to shriek without pain.

I have never seen one fly, but
sometimes they perch on the hand.

Mist is when the sky is tired of flight
and rests its soft machine on ground:

then the world is dim and bookish
like engravings under tissue paper.

Rain is when the earth is television.
It has the property of making colours darker.

Model T is a room with the lock inside –
a key is turned to free the world

for movement, so quick there is a film
to watch for anything missed.

But time is tied to the wrist
or kept in a box, ticking with impatience.

In homes, a haunted apparatus sleeps,
that snores when you pick it up.

If the ghost cries, they carry it
to their lips and soothe it to sleep

with sounds. And yet, they wake it up
deliberately, by tickling with a finger.

Only the young are allowed to suffer
openly. Adults go to a punishment room

with water but nothing to eat.
They lock the door and suffer the noises

alone. No one is exempt
and everyone’s pain has a different smell.

At night, when all the colours die,
they hide in pairs

and read about themselves –
in colour, with their eyelids shut.

--------------
 (unclear what a caxton is... some kind of printing thing)

regardless...

Love this.

2da semana

Whenever I go someplace new, the second week is always  better.  I'm still not always entirely comfortable and my Spanish isn't that great, but things are getting better.  I decided I'll do my last week in Sosua, because then I can have the beach right outside my apartment.

It's important for me to have women friends around me because I just don't trust Latino men (which I partly blame on Romeo "King of the Douches" Santos)



Case in point:

Pretty typical of his videos.  He just wants your girlfriend and he can have whatever he wants because he is the KING (of douches.)

Also this was the first song that played in my dance classes this week hahahaha.



Soooooo here you can see the "beach" that graces my front door.

 There's a street in the colonial zone with a lot of this art. 

Good ways to celebrate Easter weekend... Have a festival where people can swim in blow-up pools and make a Jesus out of sand!  Also have a rock concert for Jesus in the night.  Seriously I've never seen a religious rock concert outside of youth group activities.  It was interesting.

I know that she knows

Got it on repeat... mixed with a lot of Kate Nash.

Good quality:  To be able to enjoy solitude.

Wish I had more of that quality.

systemas feos

"The incident in Oklahoma [in which members of the Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity were caught on tape uttering racist chants], that is a real argument for getting rid of the system altogether, in my opinion, even having been through a fraternity. Because when you break it down, it really is about creating cliques and clubs and being exclusionary. Fraternities were started as academic societies that were supposed to have a philanthropic arm to them."

—comedian and movie star Will Ferrell


I never thought I would identify so strongly with Will Ferrell, but I feel him so hard on this subject.

The worst decision I made in college was joining a sorority.

The best decision I made was quitting it.


Sororities and Fraternities (whatever else they may do or good or bad) create an in-group, which in turn creates an out-group at the same time.  When I was in a sorority I spent most of my time with my "sisters".  I had very few friends outside of the Greek system at NDSU.

We had a bunch of chants about how awesome we were... and some songs about how sh*tty the other sororities  were.

I hate things that create an us-them mentality.  Hate them hate them hate them.  I hate Americans who don't like foreigners.  Also I hated being in the cage that Greek Life is... all your friends are rich white people. ick.  Also I didn't have enough money for that nonsense.

Something I don't hate:  Duolingo.  It's really really really helpful for learning languages. Y'all should try it.  Duolingo.com

Que pasa

It's Wednesday night... I've been here in Santo Domingo since Sunday afternoon.


During this time I:

Rode a guagua twice a day to get to my school.  This is the public transportation.  It's about 20 cents for one ride.

These pictures are from the internet because I didn't want people to see me taking pictures of a guagua like an IDIOT TOURIST...

....which I am anyways, because the first time I rode one of these by myself, I lost my wallet which had my id and my credit cards.  Good thing I didn't lose my passport.  I rode a bigger one that time though, and it was super packed because it was rush hour I think.   I feel so stupid though.

I thought there would be some seriously obnoxious catcalling but it's basically just "Que lindo." Which means "how beautiful". 

In Fargo it's usually "show me your tits" or something similar so this is actually an improvement.   Although it does happen more frequently here, it seems less aggressive.

Maybe they are saying nasty things too but I just can't understand them yet hahahah.

The problem is I really LIKE to talk to strangers, but I can't because I don't want to encourage creepy dudes.   I try to only talk to the non-creepy people, who don't hit on me, but it's a fine line from "how are you" to "do you have a boyfriend?" (sí, tengo un buen novio) to "where do you live?"  I can  handle them if they're my age, but much older and I usually don't talk to them. Except old people. I love talking to old people here.

So I'm taking Spanish classes in the morning and dance classes in the afternoon.  My dance teacher:

Yes he's super freaking old.  And a super freaking good dancer... and I'm pretty sure he knows I can't speak Spanish but he insists on giving huge complicated explanations of things and I just nod and say

"sí, sí, sí". Next week I have group lessons so I will certainly be learning slower.

There is an ocean here, but no beach.  DANGIT. I should really research things better.

The grandchildren of my host mom: (they live here too)

 hamming it up for the camera.

 I taught this kid to beatbox. Well... I can't really beatbox, so he's probably better than me already.