This blog post: In Defense of Letting Kids Talk Back is applicable to so many areas of my life and I ain't even child-rearing yet.
It's hard to not exert your will over others, if not through outright ordering, then through coercion and manipulation. Sometimes I just really really want one of my friends to go to some event or class with me, something they're not that into but I just know would be so fun for them.
I need to work on letting other people say no and letting that be enough.
Something from the comments: "Not allowing people to say no in everyday life is basically erasing them as people." - Speedwell.
Feel that so hard. My parents didn't discuss. Their word was law. I was a bratty kid. I always complained, argued, refused. That wasn't... um... that wasn't encouraged.
And look at me now! Refusing alcohol and drugs on the regular! (Well usually just alcohol). There was this guy I stayed with (my first couchsurfing experience actually) and he kept insisting that he had bought wine specifically for my visit so I had to drink it. I explained why I don't drink, I said thanks, but it will just be wasted on me since I won't enjoy it, but he would not respect that. In the end I took a glass, waited until he left the room for a minute, then dumped it down the drain.
People like this are one giant red flag. Which is why I need to learn to not accept this behavior from others including and especially myself. Be the friend you want to see in the world, and all that.
I keep learning more about how awesome and important consent is. Love it.
Found this song.. Somehow reminds me of the Postal Service.
It's hard to not exert your will over others, if not through outright ordering, then through coercion and manipulation. Sometimes I just really really want one of my friends to go to some event or class with me, something they're not that into but I just know would be so fun for them.
I need to work on letting other people say no and letting that be enough.
Something from the comments: "Not allowing people to say no in everyday life is basically erasing them as people." - Speedwell.
Feel that so hard. My parents didn't discuss. Their word was law. I was a bratty kid. I always complained, argued, refused. That wasn't... um... that wasn't encouraged.
And look at me now! Refusing alcohol and drugs on the regular! (Well usually just alcohol). There was this guy I stayed with (my first couchsurfing experience actually) and he kept insisting that he had bought wine specifically for my visit so I had to drink it. I explained why I don't drink, I said thanks, but it will just be wasted on me since I won't enjoy it, but he would not respect that. In the end I took a glass, waited until he left the room for a minute, then dumped it down the drain.
People like this are one giant red flag. Which is why I need to learn to not accept this behavior from others including and especially myself. Be the friend you want to see in the world, and all that.
I keep learning more about how awesome and important consent is. Love it.
Found this song.. Somehow reminds me of the Postal Service.
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