hum

I spent the first

two decades of my life

trying to guess the meaning of

“home”

I won’t spend the next chapter

trying to escape

wherever

whenever

whoever

I rain on into the refraction-after

into the shine that comes only when

the thunder’s washed everything deaf

I tarnish myself through

the kinds of situations I’m later told

I should have avoided

bruise me selfless

polish my exterior

with your diamond knives

I only get softer

pain breeds wakefulness

I dream through all shades of

daylight

-

wrote this a while ago. I am so numb right now. Need to remember how to live wildly and I really really just wanna ditch this place. escape.