Couchsurfing + good music

So far I've found two people to couchsurf with, one in NYC, and one in Copehagen (Denmark).  They both seem like cool people.  Hopefully my boyfriend is cool with me staying with random dudes.. They both have a ton of references so I feel safe.

Couchsurfing.org is a website where you can either host travelers... or just stay with random strangers as you travel the world.  I only contact the ones who have hosted many times before.  My brother used to host people a lot, and they were always really cool

Anyways I was feeling quite drained and bored with life but now I remember that I'm gonna be all over Europe this summer and I don't feel so bad.  Even though my boyfriend left for India this morning and I won't see him till December. meh.

Also I keep having odd dreams about Tomorrowland.

Guess I'll be going to India this December, assuming our relationship can survive till then.

Tips for True Love

   2.  Find someone who is good at apologizing.

   1.  Be someone who is good at apologizing.

accomplishments and bemoanments

This weekend I:

• worked 8 hours
• wrote 2 papers
• wrote 3 poems
• went to church (that's where I wrote the poems so two birds/one stone I guess)
• did my laundry
• PUT AWAY MY LAUNDRY
• cooked a huge pot of soup
• cleaned my room, took out garbage
• blew off a few people who wanted to hang out with me
• skyped with my boyfriend
• browsed the internet again and again and again.

I look so much more productive on paper.  I feel like all I did was stare at my computer.    I need to not be addicted to the interwebs.  I need to hang out with people instead of canceling on them, Friday night I did nothing at all except skype with him. I'm becoming a boring person or sad maybe.  It's a small sad though.  It pales in comparison to my dark times of the past, so I don't really count it.

Nostalgia: I miss the beach.

can't do it alone

I love this song.

How do you know if something is a mistake, or an actual character flaw that is really gonna Eff up your entire future with someone?

Time.

spine

Romance

know your enemies

dedicate songs to them,
dance the last number with
jealousy, a slow waltz,
low murmured headrush

lean against
the doorframe,
touch selfishness briefly on the mouth

take anxiety home and
leave quietly at dawn before he
traces your spine and pulls you

closer


---
as always I find myself finally able to write when I attend church.  very odd.  I like this one though :)

mer

Writer's Block is the most satisfying beast to kill in the whole world I think.  A lot less species would be endangered if hunters would have only picked up a pen instead of a gun.

Happy Valentine's Day!  This is the first time I've made it this far with anyone and that makes me exceedingly joyous.

Writer’s Block

I am not broken
anymore

rainbows only bleed from
cracked glass, I am none of this

my creative beasts have chewed
their way out of me,
who will cook?

whose claws will mutilate printer paper
into soggy, squalling origami?

who will hold my head down, under the ink
watching the bubbles float up until I finally
thrash-up
gasping
?

my scars are almost gone
and
there is no ink in the larder

slowly

cleaning my house because the possible future grandmother of my babies is coming over Sunday... and.... I BOUGHT A VACUUM CLEANER! An expensive one!  I hope it works well or I'll be sad.  This is something I've always wanted: a really nice vacuum cleaner.  I'm overly excited.

This is how I plan a eurotrip... by poorly drawing a map of Europe.

Boyfriend's mom is giving me advice on relationships and marriage so

I guess she likes me?

!!

wish me luck as my boyfriend's mom is coming here from India.

I had no idea there would be a family audition so fast... ayeeeee.  I gotta remember my formal Hindi so I can be respectful.


ARGHHH FAMILY AUDITIONNNN.

just convince me now

my head is all over the place.  This is helpful.

also, (perhaps even moreso)

 I'll be honest I'm only in college because I should be, i.e. for my parents, and for the rest of the family.  And because I have a large scholarship.

The experiences I've had I wouldn't trade for four years of traveling.  University has been a blast.  But I am so glad to finally be done and FREE.  Well in May.

I think once I get back from Europe I'll take a weekend off every month to go somewhere in the U.S. and do a dancing workshop, probably salsa.  I need to meet people who like to dance and travel, then I won't have to go solo so much.

I just want to dance, always.  I think that's all I'm going to do when I graduate (along with keeping the job at the old folks home).  I wish I could do it for a living.

dancedancedance

I really need to get skinny before Tomorrowland comes around.

Because... yes. I have tickets.

They are rich kid tickets though, not the tent ones for camping out :(  Which is sad because I'd rather camp than be around kids who got there with daddies money.  Oh well.  I can hang out with rich kids too.  At least it's 18 plus so there will be no babies there.

I worked hard for this.  I work all the time.  I don't care that I just blew a bunch of money... this is going to be so worth it.  I cannot wait to dance,    LKGORIJLKJGOWIJLKJWG.

Anyone out there traveling solo and want to hang out with me? Or traveling not solo?  

See You from the Dirt

The Caves or Dream

we hit the ground two years ago and

haven’t stopped crawling

since

defrocked butterflies, a teaspoon

away from drowning

in soil and rain

come lay beside me,

we will count the stars through

mud-stained eyelids

the air will bite at

our grateful collarbones

as if flight might still

take us somewhere dangerous

-------

I really love this one.

Another cure for writer's block: Get someone to drive you around and listen to NPR (National Public Radio) whilst holding onto a large notebook and pencil (pencil can be small or large, does not matter).

Also, this is a song: